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Dream girl
My dream girl, how I want her to be!
14 years old, more innocent than beautiful, her effort to talk like a mature woman makes her extremely attractive. This is definitely my dream girl. Why is “talk” so important? Simply because I had to spend 6 whole months talking to her on the phone before I got to see her. Child abuse? Not at all. That was more than 18 years ago. I was only 15, almost more innocent than she was. I still remember my first impression when I saw her the first time. “Yeeh, she is too young to be my dream girl” Talk is not everything then.
2 Years later at a friend’s place, I got to see the real dream girl. She only came offering us something to drink. Once I saw her sporty figure, her soft shiny dark hair and the lovely calm smile on her face, my heart kept beating like a drum machine. This is how dream girls should be. I visited my “dear” friend every single day for next two months before I had to confess to him that I have fallen in love with his younger sister. “So, what do you want me to do now?” my friend said. “I want you tell her that she is my dream girl, I will die if I did not spend the rest of my life with her”. By this time I had to move to another city in a few months so we agreed to postpone the whole dream girl subject for a while to test our feelings when we are far from each other. I guess that was a clever thought of my friend, I never opened the subject with him again. Few months later, I could not remember how she looked like. The new city was full of taller girls and softer hairs. It is not about the look then. Consequently, the journey to my dream girl goes on.
My second week at college, the garden of the main campus, 8:00 in the morning: I was sitting with her doing some homework. She was very conservative, being veiled at AUC made her unique to a large extent. She was not very sociable but I have my way getting to know people quickly. “My mom in a modern style”, this is how I saw her. “Man keeps searching for a woman similar to his mom”, this is what I hear and read so many times.
Bingo! This is the one then, my dream girl. I do not know how she accepted to be my girl friend that fast. Maybe I reminded her of her dad or so. For the second two weeks, we were together but there was only one problem. She was too serious all the time. Being a funny easy going person did not make me feel very comfortable with this. Plus she did not want me to hold her hands. I was not very happy especially after she refused to join me in the new students welcome party. No no no, this won’t work, I love my mom but I do not want my dream girl to be a carbon copy. Never believe everything you read.
3 days later, the Greek campus, 10:00 PM, the welcome party: lots of students, loud music and dance everywhere. I was already pissed off wasting my first days at college without having a dance mate for this first big party. I had no option but to dance with everyone I knew but this did not fulfill my romantic dreams for the night. The status of group dancing remained till the moment when the DJ changed the music to the “baladi” style. This is when I saw her for the first time: she had this French figure with so many curves, and this very dark long hair of Kuwaiti girls. Add the black tiny skirt and lovely knees; I was thrilled to the extent that I penetrated this ring of boys and girls surrounding her to join her dance. I felt I have the entire world between my hands while dancing with her and when we went out this night. She was smiling and laughing all the time. She almost dances when she walks. This has to be the one who can make me happy all the time. “Finally I found my dream girl”, I thought. She was such a nice gentle creature to me for the following two months. Only then, I finally faced myself with the fact I tried to hide during these two lovely months with her. She had no problem at all to dance with any man at anytime. She was a dance freak. I did not mind my dream girl to be open minded but not that “open”. It happened suddenly and in a very quite way, we separated but kept dancing together from time to time.
One year later, a political science class: I was first attracted to her elegant way discussing a serious subject with a professor. Bit by bit, we started talking then going out sometimes. Apart from her lovely cheeks and childish smile, she had this thing that made her different from all the others; “Style”. No more immature thoughts, my dream girl must be “stylish”. It is not about the hair, the sexy look or the dancing capabilities. It is definitely the “style”. Finally I got to find her. Is that it? Unfortunately, No. During the next 6 months, I had to discuss these subjects about women rights 99% of the time. I cannot deny I enjoyed the rest 1% but she was extremely defensive to men in general for some personal and academic reasons. I had to pay this tax for 6 months before I decided to drop the whole idea of having my dream girl till I finish college. Come on, the “style” is definitely not worth a 99% tax.
4 years later: American, she was. She had the style without these feminine issues. She failed to do “belly dancing” which made me feel quite comfortable and she was totally different from my mom which theoretically gave her some extra credit. The American dream? The dream girl? This sounded consistent to me at this time. A dream girl with an American Passport as a value added service looked like a good deal. We got engaged for more than a year but sadly enough her American greedy nature pushed her to do something that woke me up from the dream: Double Dating. She got an American boyfriend. She thought it is ok since she does it in two different countries. I could not swallow it. She is definitely not the one. Good bye America.
This pulled me back to the starting point again with more serious thoughts how would my dream girl be. There must be some sort of a sign or so.
Hey dream girl, would you help me with this? Can you give me a sign?
Should you be innocent or sexy? stylish or curvy? serious or funny? naive or greedy?
Hey dream girl, you know what? I will always love you. I just do not know who you are. I will keep looking for you.
Maybe you will come in unique color that makes me recognize you but you know what? Dreams have no colors.
I’d better keep searching.
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prince charming
How do you want him to be? A question I’ve been asked so many times by different people; some of whom want to play the role of the khatba (marriage intermediary) and think they can introduce me to my prince charming, others who just want to use this question as an excuse to explain how hard I am and how difficult my criteria are. But do they really know what I want in my prince charming, what my criteria are? No, they are just assuming simply because I am over 30 and I am not yet married.
How I want him to be? What kind of a question is that? What kind of answer do they expect to get? Do they just want me to set a number of criteria and qualifications as if I am putting a job add?
How I want him to be? Definitely, every girl has a certain image for the man she wants to be with, but this image usually changes with time and becomes more about personality as we get older. Unfortunately, this is not the case with most men; all they have in mind is the "look". A friend of my friend hit 35 and is still looking for the blond, blue-eyed girl with the perfectly curvy body coming from a very wealthy family.
When we’re young, "prince charming" always comes from movie and TV characters. When I was 16, I fell in love with Sidney Poitier star of “Guess who is coming to dinner.
"A black man" mom said. What if you have a daughter who looks just like her dad? I don’t mind. It is not like looks don't count, but I am always attracted to men with strong figures and being black is a plus for me. These days I am really attracted to Dr. Burk, a brilliant black heart surgeon, in the TV series Grey's Anatomy.
Is it really about the strong black man? No, they have another thing in common; the over confident personality, the success, the passion for what they do and how they seek perfection. Always in control of the situation, once involved know exactly what to do and where to go.
That is the closest description you can get to my prince charming.
Do you think I can find him? A question raised by most of my friends.
The problem isn’t about finding him, I think, it's about keeping him?! I found him actually twice in my life or so I thought!!!!
It was 10 years ago when I found him the first time. We knew each other over the phone, for almost 2 months we kept talking every morning as our companies had certain trades together and we were the guys in charge. I knew he was different, he was clever, a hard worker and very persistent. Everyone believed him to be the coming manager, but he surprised us all by leaving the company to establish his own business. By that time, we had grown very close. He worked very hard to start big, usually he had to work till very late at night and I was there on the phone. We weren't talking much as he worked, but he wanted to feel the company and I didn’t mind. I was very proud of him and I wanted to remain nearby. I wanted to be part of his life. But as time passed, I started to realize what my best friend had always told me "he is just using you." Yes, he was busy and he just wanted someone beside him to support him, to give him the emotional power he needed to succeed without missing part of life. And I – I was simply there at the time!
The second time was 2 years ago. It had been 8 years since the first one - maybe I was searching for the impossible. He was a brilliant surgeon that I met through business. It wasn’t love at first sight and he didn’t even leave an impression that first meeting, but at our second meeting we got to talk for almost 2 hours about everything; what he did, his work, where he was heading even his past experiences and how he wants wife to be to look like and how is my prince charming. He was everything I wanted; he was the one I was searching for. We got to know each other; at first he was always there he called a lot, we talked for hours and then suddenly he decided to disappear without notice. Maybe, he realized I couldn't fit his plans or maybe because he just realized he had no more business left with me. I don’t know! My friends told me he probably just wanted to see his impression on me. A new conquer - that’s it!
The problem maybe the type of character I am attracted to, maybe it is what I choose or maybe it is just me who is wrong. I don’t have much experience I confess; I was always a work-oriented girl.
Yes, definitely. It’s only normal that a person with such character would be self-centered. To be that self-confident he must be capable only of loving himself. to see it as superior and to reflect that image in every one eyes. To be able to make a success of himself he must only be focused on his career discarding everyone and everything in the way. It is what I chose; the consequences come as a package.
So either I change prince charming or I must live without him.
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